


To love and to be loved

by JessicaMariana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Artists, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 05:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaMariana/pseuds/JessicaMariana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don’t be afraid to confess your love or you might loose something you otherwise wouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To love and to be loved

**Author's Note:**

> This is a College Alternative Universe with students who major art and social studies.

 

Sam ran slowly over the icy parking lot on the school grounds. He was late for class which was quite unusual for him. Because Dean had not been home for the night, Sam had overslept, forgetting to set the alarm. Dean had probably spent the night with that girlfriend of his, Anna.

“Damn it,” Sam cursed as he slid over the ice. “Why now?”

Today of all days were the final exams before Christmas. Sam knew that if he’d be too late, the teachers would lock him out. Those were the rules.

As Sam opened on of the big, heavy wooden entrance doors, a shorter guy bumped into him, making him slip on the icy stone steps and fall to the ground with a loud thud.

“Oh my God!” the guy exclaimed, carefully rushing to Sam’s side. “Are you okay, man?”

The guy squatted down next to Sam who was lying on the ice on his back, looking up at the grey, clouded sky while light snowflakes fell on his face. Sam turned his eyes towards the short guy. Their hazel eyes met for a second before Sam started getting up. Hi shoulder was really hurting, and he had to hold it still as he scrambled to his feet. The guy took him by the elbow of his other arm and helped him up.

Standing up straight, the guy’s height only reached up to Sam’s shoulder.

“I am so terribly sorry,” he said, looking worriedly at Sam. ”It looks like you dislocated you shoulder. Let me help you to the nurse’s office.”

The guy held one hand under Sam’s elbow and the other against his back as Sam took a deep breath, holding his arm in position. The guy quietly escorted him to the nurse’s office on the bottom floor of the west wing of the school.

The nurse was working already and gently took Sam in, letting the other guy wait outside.

The hallway was quiet for some time as Sam talked to the nurse. Then there was a sudden scream as the nurse pushed his shoulder back in place. A while later Sam finally came out. His eyes were red and teary.

“Are you okay?” the guy asked, standing up from the hard wooden bench he’d been sitting on.

Sam told him he had to take it easy for the rest of the day and not to use his arm too much, which was unfortunate, since it was the arm he used to write with. Silently cursing the weather Sam excused himself and went to his classroom, hopeful to get in despite his late arrival.

 

Schiller College wasn’t big and therefore rumours spread like wildfire. By lunch everyone had head of Sam’s accident. A few of the students said he’d been pushed by the jokester in Socials Class 3B; others believed it had been a genuine accident. And knowing Dean, Sam’s brother, he’d come rushing through the corridors as soon as his class was over to check on his little brother.

So, lunch came around and Sam sat down on a flight of the marble stairs in the main hallway of the second floor. He had been able to join his class during their first break, missing 45 minutes of the exams. Apologizing to his teacher, he had been forced to painfully write something on his paper so he wouldn’t flunk, completely ignoring what the nurse had said about taking it easy. Sam had forced himself to it, feeling like a failure otherwise.

The corridors were beginning to fill with students, some looking very pleased, others not so much. Running down from the third floor on the stairs opposite of the ones Sam was sitting on, came Dean holding Anna’s hand, followed by his best friend Cas. He spotted Sam and looked both worried and angry.

“Sam,” he said stopping in front of his brother. “What the hell? Who did this? I’m going to rip that guy’s lungs out!”

Sam greeted Anna and Cas before giving his brother the puppy-eyed look and saying: “Dean, come on, man.”

“Someone pushed you, Sam!” Dean crossed his arms over his chest, frowning.

Sam stood up, packing his lunch back into his bag. He explained what had really happened; that it had been a total accident. He didn’t know the guy, but he’d seen him around the school, so he was obviously a student. Besides, he’d helped Sam to the nurse’s office and apologized several times.

“Dean,” Sam said. “I’m telling you I’m fine. I just have to take it easy for the rest of the day.”

Dean looked suspiciously at his brother and after a moment he finally nodded, believing him. If Sam lied, he would hade known. They had such a strong bond.

“So, we’re going to have lunch outside today,” Dean said looking at Anna and then back at Sam. “I guess you’re not coming?”

Sam said he was going to sit in the library to study for an English test coming up next week. Being a top student really had its down sides, but Sam enjoyed studying and just said it was simply a part of who he was. Se Dean, Anna and Cas left while Sam walked into the library located in he middle of the second floor, stretching its way through half the east and half the west wings of the building. Sam walked into the west wing where there was a so called “silent” room where it was strictly forbidden to talk. In the middle of the room was a long table with a screen in the middle, and looking over it, being tall enough, Sam was the guy from earlier that morning. He was leaning his chin against his fists, eyes closed, probably taking a nap in between the exams. Sam walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, startling him. He held up a hand to greet the guy.

“Hey,” the guy whispered, watching Sam as he sat down next to him. ”How’s the shoulder?”

“Just fine,” Sam replied. “I’m Sam, by the way, Sam Winchester.”

The guy shook his hand saying his name was Gabriel.

“Listen, man,” he said sounding really embarrassed. “I feel guilty for what happened.”

“It was nothing but and accident. I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

Sam saw the old librarian walk in and quickly turned his head to Gabriel’s book, pretending to read it. As soon as the woman walked back out Gabriel turned to Sam.

“Let me make you dinner tonight to make up for any inconvenience I’ve caused.”

Sam thought about it for a moment and accepted his offer.

During the rest of their lunch, Sam got to know Gabriel a little better. He had an obvious sweet-tooth, because every time Sam turned to pick up a book or get something from his bag, Gabriel was chewing on a different piece of candy. He had a big family, but was currently living with his younger brother and sister. He went to Socials Class 3B, which wasn’t a surprise for Sam since he’d heard the rumours about him being the school’s jokester. He had a weird, lightly funny sense of humour, Sam thought, but he liked it. Gabriel was original.

As the lunch break ended the guys went their separate ways through the hallways, having agreed to meet in the entrance hall after four.

 

After classes Sam quickly went to get his tuff from his locker in the basement, checking himself in the tiny mirror some previous owner had glued to the metal door. He swiftly packed his books in his duffle bad and put his jacket on, carefully pulling it over the injured shoulder first. He then met up with Gabriel in the entrance hall on the first floor.

 

An hour long bus ride later, outside of town, Sam was standing in the hallway of Gabriel’s apartment.

“Welcome to _mi casa_ ,” he said taking his outdoor clothes off. “No one’s home yet, so fell free to take a look around.”

Sam also took his jacket and shoes off, and after a quick tour of the place they sat down on the big couch in the spacious living room.

“It’s a pretty big place you’ve got,” Sam said looking around as Gabriel put his feet up on the coffee table. “You must be wealthy.”

Gabriel explained that it was his father’s second place that he’d been kind enough to let a few of his kids live in considering it was closer to town than their family home.

The guys sat on the couch for an hours or so just watching TV when someone came home.

“I’m home,” a familiar girl’s voice shouted followed by a husky male voice saying “Hey”.

“Sam?”

Anna stepped into the living room followed by Dean, both looking equally surprised to see Sam sit there next to Gabriel.

Sam greeted them both as the joined them.

“So, how do you two know each other?” Dean asked Sam, stretching his arm around Anna’s shoulders.

“I’m the one who accidentally opened the wrong door,” Gabriel confessed and got off the couch. “I’m going to get dinner started.”

He left the room with a slightly awkward feeling. Dean looked over at Sam who in turn tried to ignore him, gluing his eyes to the TV.

 

During dinner they guys sat quietly listening to Anna as he told them about her day. Being the only girl in the family it wasn’t easy for her having to listen to her brothers, and therefore had to get what she had to say off her chest.

As they moved on to dessert, Anna excused herself.

“So get this,” Dean said leaning over the table, toward Sam, talking in a low whisper. “Anna and I had a wonderful time last night. You get what I’m saying? She’s quite the feisty one.”

Sam and Gabriel looked at him like they didn’t know how to respond, so Dean continued. “You know when Anna rubs herself against me she’ll be on her knees, shaking with pleasure. Because when she’s had her first orgasm, she just gets more sensitive, and man---”

“Dude!” Gabriel interrupted him, looking at him like he’d lost his mind. “That’s my sister you’re talking about. Have a little respect, would you?”

Dean looked at Gabriel from across the table and then shifted his eyes to Sam who was looking just as disgusted.

There was a reason Dean didn’t hang out with Anna’s brothers when he came over, and this was why. He always managed to make the situation more awkward than it should be.

“Seriously, dean,” Sam said. “Besides, we’re eating… Excuse me.”

Sam got up and walked into the hallway just as Anna got out of the bathroom.

“Hey, Anna,” Sam said awkwardly, looking down at her fiery red hair framing her pale face beautifully. “Can I talk to you for a sec? It’s kind of important.” He’d needed to talk to Anna for some time but hadn’t gotten the chance until now.

Anna nodded and followed Sam into the living room. She and Sam knew each other pretty well since she had started dating his brother over a year ago, and they talked a couple of times a week.

“I don’t know how to tell you thin, but you need to promise not to get mad at me… or Dean,” Sam said quietly taking her hand as he sat back down on the big couch with her. “You know Dean drinks a lot, and we all want him to stop even though he won’t. Well, that’s lead to a pretty big problem recently.”

Anna looked worried about what Sam was about say but stayed quiet, probably bracing herself for the blast after he’d dropped the bomb.

“You know Dean drags poor Cas around when he’s drinking. Well, on several occasions, when I’ve been forced to go with them, there have been times when Dean has kind of gotten on him. And Cas doesn’t seem to mind. I don’t know if he’s been too drunk or he just doesn’t care or if---”

“Cas loves Dean,” Anna finished Sam’s sentence looking at the floor with empty green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said hugging Anna with his muscular arms, feeling s slight throb in his shoulder. “Please talk to Dean.”

Anna nodded, and after Sam had gone home later that night, Dean had stayed, hoping for something he probably wouldn’t get.

 

A few days later Dean and Anna broke up. Dean drank and hit on Cas more than usual. Thinking it was just to get some comfort sex, Sam ignored his brother for some time and asked him to go live with Cas since they were best friends and they had to sort things out. Sam and Gabriel’s relationship on the other hand got stronger.

It was two days before the long awaited Christmas break. Gabriel had promised Sam o model for him because he still felt guilty about the accident. Sam had said it was okay, but the main reason he’d accepted the offer was because he thought Gabriel had interesting features and he needed a motive for his final assignment to turn in the following day.

That day Sam invited Gabriel to Dean and his place, a small, late 19th Century flat in the middle of town.

“Hey,” Sam said looking up from the big sketchpad at Gabriel. “Could you just lower your knees a little? I can’t see your face properly.”

“Like this?” Gabriel said straightening his leg out a little more.

“Not quite,” Sam said putting the pad on his armchair, walking up to the bed. He gently put a big, warm hand against Gabriel’s knee and repositioned it.

 

Gabriel had had the awkward proposal of posing nude for Sam. Not really knowing if it was a joke or not Sam had blushed, instantly thinking of his new friend lying on his bed. But thinking of it fro man artistic point of view he said it would be nice since the school never booked male models and it would be a good time for him to practice male anatomy. He also added that if Gabriel didn’t mind, he’s like to use if for his final assignment the next day, before graduation. Gabriel had responded very casually saying “Sure, why not.”

 

Gabriel looked at Sam, quietly observing his slow caressing movement. As the silence spread across the bedroom, Sam sat back in his chair, looking at Gabriel every now and then as he continued to sketch.

The concentration on Sam’s face was just as interesting to Gabriel as his body was to Sam, but he was too afraid to admit it. He could feel a slight tension every time their eyes accidentally met. The silent music in the background almost made the room feel like another universe. At that moment it was just Sam and Gabriel.

Just lying there on Sam’s bed, naked, having Sam’s eyes on him, Gabriel started thinking about how much he liked Sam. They had a lot in common and on a few occasions they’d even been close to step over that line that defined their friendship, always ending up with them awkwardly turning away from each other. Those situations usually made Gabriel tell a really bad joke, which almost made it worse.

Gabriel admitted to himself that it wasn’t easy having a crush on someone so handsome and popular. Sam was perfect in Gabriel’s eyes; not just his looks, but by his personality as well.

“Well… I’m done,” Sam suddenly said looking at his finished drawing.

Gabriel sat up and pulled his boxers on, looking at the picture Sam had sketched.

“Wow! You’re great,” he said with a smile, feeling a slight blush on his cheeks when he noticed how detailed it was. “That’s awesome.”

Sam turned to him, quickly eyeing him before saying thank you. He kept his eyes on Gabriel’s back as he put his clothes back on. As soon as he was dressed, Sam got out of the armchair he was sitting in and walked up to Gabriel. He put a hand on his shoulder which made him turn around. Sam looked down at him. He knew that from now on he’d only be able to think of him naked – it was the curse of drawing nude portraits.

As the kept looking at each other, Sam started to feel the urge to lean down and give Gabriel a hot, passionate kiss right then and there. But he had a feeling Gabriel didn’t feel the same way about him because ha always laughed it off. So Sam just smiled and playfully tousled Gabriel’s hair.

“Well, I guess it’s time for me to head home,” Gabriel said with a chuckle and walked out into the hallway, trying to avoid any further eye contact with Sam.

He didn’t know it then, but he felt the Sam way about Sam as Sam did for him but he thought that if he kissed him now he’d ruin their friendship.

“I guess I’ll call sometime,” he said.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Sam said trying to keep calm and not think about his naked, soft skin and what it felt like holding his hand on Gabriel’s knee. “Well, Merry Christmas… you know, if we don’t hear each other before that.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Merry Christmas, Sam.” He turned his back to Sam and walked out the door.

 

The next day arrived. Sam turned his work in, getting a B to everyone’s surprise. Their teacher might not have liked his choice of motive, but Sam was satisfied. Sometimes you just had to compromise a grade for something that interests you. After that, the day went by slowly, just sitting in a dark classroom watching a Christmas movie about some artist called Thomas Kinkade.

After lunch it was time for graduation. All the students gathered in the assembly hall on the second floor right across the hallway from the library. All art and social majors, which were all the school’s students, were seated on the hard, old wooden benches. The principal greeted everyone and wished them all good luck in their future search for a career or whatever they’d do.

The ceremony lasted a couple of hours, and during that whole time Sam couldn’t stop glancing over his shoulder, at the doors, hoping he wouldn’t miss Gabriel come in.

As soon as every student had said goodbye to each of their teachers, they slowly started to leave and headed home.

Sam looked around in the corridor, not recognizing any of he faces, except Anna’s. He greeted her quickly and asked if she’d seen Gabriel, Cas or Dean. But she hadn’t, so Sam wished her a Merry Christmas and left for the third floor where he knew Gabriel had his locker.

Sam really wanted to see Gabriel before the graduation, but since he wasn’t anywhere to be seen he had no choice but to stop thinking about it. But after he’d been up all night thinking about him, it would be hard not to do it now. He knew he liked Gabriel more than anyone else and he knew that no matter how embarrassing it was, he had at least a major crush on him. And now Sam had to tell him.

The day turned to night, and Sam had called Gabriel dozens of times after being one of the last people to leave the school, but Gabriel wouldn’t pick up. So Sam went to bed, feeling disappointed and unwanted.

 

Weeks passed and there were still no answers from Gabriel. Sam felt like he’d done something wrong, but as he thought back to the day before graduation he didn’t feel like he had. Whatever he’d done it must’ve been something very subtle.

“What have I done?” Sam sadly asked himself in the darkness of his bedroom one night.

 

Several months passed. Sam looked for a job because he felt like he couldn’t stand it if he had to study again. Being unemployed and young was hard but it didn’t take long for Sam to get an interview at the local library.

“Oh my God,” Sam said as he walked into the basement hallway where he was supposed to wait for his turn for the interview. “No…”

Gabriel sat there in front of him. He looked just like he had eight months earlier but with a very surprised facial expression.

“Fuck!” he sad looking up at Sam, dropping his bag to the floor.

“Gabriel,” Sam said in a low whisper, unable to speak any louder.

Gabriel picked up his bag and stood up in front of Sam, frowning. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. He was the reason they hadn’t talked since the day before graduation. But he knew he had to say something, because he couldn’t run – not again.

“Sam,” he said, avoiding Sam’s eyes, feeling embarrassed. “Listen… I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Sam said feeling upset over the sudden situation. All his feelings were running amok inside him. “What the hell?”

Gabriel took his arm and let him away from the other people who were there and had started to stare at them. He stopped by the staircase leading up to the first floor.

“Listen, Sam,” Gabriel said again quietly. “I know – I’m a total dick.”

“Not good enough,” Sam replied, closing his fists. “I tried to call you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just that---” Gabriel too ka pause brushing the hair out of his face. “I had a problem. The truth is, I was--- I _am_ … in love with you.”

Sam looked at him like he didn’t believe what he’d just heard. All this time they’d been separated because they loved each other. They’d both been stupid trying to hide their feelings. Sam started to feel guilty and had to confess.

“Gabriel,” he said and put a hand on his shoulder. “This is going to sound so dumb.”

Then he told Gabriel all about his feelings and why he so desperately had been trying to reach him the past eight months. Gabriel looked as surprised as Sam had been just before.

“I mean---” Sam said shrugging. “I love you. And if you would’ve come to the graduation you would have known.”

“Like I said: I’m such a dick… I’m sorry. I love you too.”

Sam hugged Gabriel, feeling like he never wanted to let go again.

Everything was fine now. They just had to trust each other and had to promise each other to always be honest and open. Sam knew it was all going to be alright because they still loved each other, even after all this time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wish to spread this on tumblr, please reblog it from me: [lustfullygazing](http://lustfullygazing.tumblr.com/)  
> Artwork by [yours truly](http://jessicamariana.deviantart.com)


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